i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
