Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
