no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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