its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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