I hate your face
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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