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I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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