sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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