Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
