Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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