You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
