...so i touched it.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
