He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You're like the curious george of whores
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
