dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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