Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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