i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
