I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
