So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
