Do vagina's smell?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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