It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
