Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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