hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
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