wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
