I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
