Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
