Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
