i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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