I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
