Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
