So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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