Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
