I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How drunk are you?
Completed.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
