Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
