every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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