if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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