Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
