She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
