Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
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