Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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