i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
