i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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