before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
