I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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