I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
