This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
