does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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