And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
