so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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