I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
