I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
