Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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