He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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